Confusing

I am who I am. I don't believe in change. People all around me are willing to twist and shape themselves into so many different moulds. To hell with them.

I am confused. I am unsure about life and love. One moment I am dead certain of one thing. The next moment I am dead certain of the exact opposite. I remain unsure. Especially about life and love.

People who have hurt me by their actions and continue to do so are to be avoided, never forgiven. To forgive means to later run the risk of forgetting. And to forget means to expose oneself to the same danger again, which is foolish.

People who have given me a reason to live are to be remembered, cherished, and held on to. But are there really any such people...?

The past and the future are one in the present. Life is always the same beneath the apparent changes on the surface of it. Difficult, easy; enjoyable, detestable...

Confusing.

Astrology for me

I would like to spill my guts here when everything is going wrong for me. As it is now. Maybe I should start an anonymous blog? No, I want to say it like it is, without fear. But still, the real issues facing us are often the most hidden. Which is why I would like to vent it out to someone. Or somewhere.

Maybe confessions had a point after all. Note: Stopped going to church years ago.

In the piscean age people hide the truth. In the aquarian age they openly express it. Or so I think. People are most certain about the things they have the least proof of, like astrology and religion. Still, astrology is the mother of all sciences and therefore a science to me. Besides, I use astrology every second. I don't mean the auspicious timing of events stuff. I see exactly how and why the world around me works the way it does. Using common sense. The truth is always the plainest thing to see. What astrology helps me with is, really, nothing so far, as far as I can see. Maybe revealed my strengths or made me believe in strengths I didn't actually possess...

Astrology proves itself. I see how different people are and how people who have birthdays close by resemble. I can expect a certain behaviour (underlying) to emerge and make itself evident over time for people with birthdays in each of the 36 10-day periods in a year. For e.g., I know what to expect from a person born between Jan 1 - Jan 10. Or for any other 10-day period. The magic of astrology reveals itself everyday. For some sun signs I can further divide the 10-day periods, depending on the number of people I have met who have birthdays there. I get better at astrology and how our world ultimately runs as a constant interaction between various astrological decan natives...

I realize that people are so varied you cannot really fathom them. It's a never-ending learning process. But sometimes I also feel people are all the same, heartless, spineless... Superficial. Not knowing the truth is excruciating pain for me. Seethe... Seethe... Seethe...

Me, manyheaded, mad

Greased and grainy, my soul
What I feel, I do not know
Pangs and longing
See in you, my belonging

Words and silence
Interwoven so one more than the other
What it means I thought I knew
No more so methinks

Rumbling ball of black guilt
Thundering down my past or future
Crush me, I say; end this pain
Come for me; consume, devour

Slice my heart, my throat
Speech sharp as razor
Native issue from native heart
Good too much evil become

Thoughts a fleeting
Many I comprehend, many a wasting
Equally sound, in own right and might
Me, manyheaded, mad

Ego

I am going to rant.

There was your warning. I know that people are bad not because they choose to be but because of the way they have been forced to live by society. The very way of life that stops them from seeing society for what it is, what a much better life they were entitled to in the first place.

Today I encountered asinine hostility. From a learned and knowledgeable person who would otherwise be the epitome of civility. When he/she saw that I was great, that my theory was the greatest thing that ever existed, that the only just way of treating me would be utter, complete submission, he/she chose to do the opposite. Insult me to the core, act worse than an animal, be utterly uncivilised. So even if you are 100% right, people will not accept you if they can choose not to; it is only force and fear that ever works. Their ego will not let them gave away credit to another person, unless that very ego tells them to submit in the interest of self-preservation.

Human child

Isn't the root of all evil hurting another person? You can do as you like with your life, but when you do as you like with another person's life, then all hell breaks loose. And this begins at parenthood. You decide where and how your child is being brought up and hence sow the seeds of all evil. What's to stop you from torturing or killing your child? Nothing. The human child is the most unprotected living creature. Animals will not kill their young unless they are compelled to do so by unavoidable circumstances. But humans can and will kill if they choose to, since they are not governed by instinct and can rise above it.

Animals breed in plenty - many die, some survive, depending on external conditions. The same is the case with humans. If we ensure that external conditions are just right before humans are born, then we can end the unnecessary deaths. And not die like animals.

Thoughts - III

Feel like life has passed me by. I am so different from what I used to be, or so I think. But my convictions about the world still stand. It always boils down to money.

The people I feel I should stay away from always prove it to me in time. That I should have stayed away from them. My sense of human dignity is wavering. I don't have the same strong sense of dignity of a human being that I used to have. It's all because of the place where I work, where people don't have any sense of dignity themselves nor do they treat others with any sense of dignity. Life is so much more than 1+1=2, and unless that dawns on them someday they cannot even begin to comprehend the value of a human being.

I've always had the courage to stand up for what I thought or believed in. I hope I will continue to have that courage.

Modified Age-Point Technique

I wanted to talk about a relatively less-known form of prediction, called age-point technique. It uses the western wheel natal chart. And each house corresponds to 5/6 years. Going anticlockwise (some say clockwise), the planetary aspects can indicate the kind of experiences the person will have.

I use a slightly modified technique, however. I ask the person for 2 or 3 most important events in his/her life. I go by the 5/6 years per house technique, but see if there is an exact match. Mostly there isn't so I adjust it so that I guess which planet represents which major event and calculate the degree separation (clockwise) between them and the corresponding time in seconds/hours. From this I calculate how many hours/days is represented by one degree in the person's natal chart. Using this unit I predict future events based on the kind of planet that the age-point conjuncts (age-point is on the ascendant at the moment of birth and moves clockwise at the rate of the calculated hours/days per degree). You can use this to predict the future of a person, an organization, a country, anything.