So much has happened. I realize I have been scared and influenced. Fearful of saying what I think.
At work I used to put up art on the wall every week. There were comments written underneath, but when I wrote there that nothing should be written, someone threw away my art. Behind my back. Infuriated me. Anything done behind my back infuriates me. I sent a mail (toned down) to everyone, saying whoever did it owed me an apology. I was mad as hell. I drank beer the previous night at a friend's place and somehow it had a long-lasting effect on me. I was scared it was the beer talking. So nervous and scared that I called a friend to ease myself. I was strangely acting - the beer I think is responsible.
Anyways, later after sobering a day after, I looked at the mail and it didn't seem rude. I was relieved. I realized alcohol only magnifies the negative possibilities for me. I also saw that people would most likely ignore the mail - which they didn't seem likely to do a day back.
It's not a life of beer drinks that can't be counted on the fingers of one hand.
I mean I haven't drunk more than five or six times in my life and only soberly too, at that. I was keeping myself safe and protected - always thought that there was a reason. But today I see the whole world is a sham. The only reason why people would like you is because they need something you have. When you don't have anything, you are thrown away like a used rag to rot like a street dog.
That happens to half the people on earth. At some point in their life.