Happy birthday

I'm happy that I have a blog in which I express most of my feelings and thoughts. Besides unburdening myself, I get to preserve my true self by expressing it once in a while, not letting it die from lack of use. On my birthday (astrological - today - exact sun spot), I feel a new surge of life, a determination to live life more fully, an insight into exactly what my life has been so far and why, and a renewal of the real me. All of which I will share here.

My life has been manipulated by parents to achieve their ends, in which they failed, and in the process made a complete wreck of me. I could be wrong. My recent correspondence with my classmates showed me what I was scared of when we were classmates, 12 years ago, that my potential is cruelly stifled by my parents. They have gone so much farther ahead in life, I think. Again, I could be wrong.

Those patterns are existent to this day and I find it hard to escape them. I'm not sure. I never used to think like this. I always was glad for the life I lived, which was for a great purpose, I thought. These are the kind of thoughts I used to have as a teenager. I wonder why they are coming back...

Whatever it is, I'm determined to be the real me, exploring and willing to do the undone...

Happy birthday to me...