Sunday, August 19, 2007

Life goes on

What a much better place my living room has become since I opened the small window beside the door a bit. No need for the noisy fan. Feels so cool. My thwarted attempts to make my whole home air-conditioned don’t hurt so much now. I’m sitting in the living room. I had a thought because the TV actually makes me want to comment on what I see, but there are no kindred spirits who would listen. Why are here no kindred spirits? That’s another big issue I’m really confused about. Is it me or is it others? It could be me, mind me.

I’m watching Robbie Williams’ video on ftv. Surrounded by good-looking girls and dressed as a guru. It goes something like, Sin, sin, sin. Look where have you been and where are you tonight. It starts with a guru channel female presentator. And he looks like a priest, Robbie Williams. But I noticed that only beautiful girls were being healed by the guru. I read somewhere Robbie Williams is a Leo Ascendant like me. What the song means still hasn’t gotten to me and it’s over now. The next one is Hold on to people, they’re slipping away. I think it’s by Moby. Sad sounding and very meaningful to me. Everything changes. Nothing is permanent. Now it’s the ftv only on fashion tv interlude. Now it's Nelly Furtado. She was awesome in I’m Like A Bird. Reminded me of Hana Nada (prev. post). But now not so good. Skimpier outfits, catchier songs, slicker face, boring girl. Can’t even make out the lyrics. Time to change the channel.

Oh it’s Mr. Bean dancing around like an idiot. You know, I and Mr. Bean have a lot in common. He is actually Rowan Atkinson and his birthday is only a few days after mine. He just jumped in front of a car to get his shoe. Now he is combing his hair looking at the reflection on a glass in a store. He can’t see the back of his head so he went into a photo booth and took the back pictures. Now he is following the picture processing in the booth with his ear till it pops out. Now it’s a goddamn ad.

I feel so angry when I think about the people at work who smile at me thinking I’m stupid. My friend Shinaj told me once that is how people see me. He said, “He is worthless. We can treat him as we like.” That’s how people see me. But since he is quite right most of the time, I gave it some thought. It’s true. In some ways.

I remember the chicken fry pieces I used to have at his place that we bought from outside for very cheap and it was very tasty too. I’m still trying to think of a way to cook chicken sausages on the microwave. The first time it got stuck to the paper cover, the second time it got hard as rock and the third time I ate it no matter how it tasted. And the Microsoft Office I have is not able to install updates coz I deleted a file while fixing the laptop. But the damn laptop still keeps downloading something God only knows what, its cutting into my allotted download limit of 1.5 GB and in future hopefully if the internet service provider responds, 1 GB. When I have to pay Rs. 2 for every extra MB, it’s not very funny.

When I see cartoons, I think, how wonderful if the world was so clear cut and colorful as the cartoons. So pretty and perfect. The people, the roads, the cars. That’s why I watch cartoons. I’m seeing Bob the Builder now. Repulsed me once upon a time. But now nothing better in this godforsaken place I guess. Other than pretty, pretty girls on ftv.

Oh, by the way, I hate Harrison Ford. Makes me want to vomit. He’s on this channel Sony pix. I think it’s 'cause he’s so old-fashioned. Also the stupid downloading stopped once I closed all active windows. Could be the site legitimately updating status or a virus that attached itself to the browser. Am no computer guy but educated guesses are possible.

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