Excerpting from now on ....

I am going to publish excerpts from my diary from now on. Only the parts I am comfortable publishing.

5/apr/08

excerpt 1

Wherever I go people don't want me there. They treat me so badly that I eventually leave. There is no rocket science to this. It happened in my own family. It used to happen in my relatives' houses. It happens with my "friends." Happens at work.

Took me a while to realize, but I finally have.

How bad is it? Very, very bad situation, right? When every human being you see wants to mistreat you.

I can see only two options now: the first that came to mind - suicide. The second - revenge.

I mean, if they don't like me, can't they just avoid me or ignore me? I can deal with that. But to act like they are very interested in me and then hurt me terribly by mistreating me so that I would leave? That is incomprehensibly painful and disgusting.